Paper Towel Throw was Reptilian Feeding Ritual

Most people want to their president to be seen as unflappably calm, composed under pressure while empathetically comforting the victims of a tragedy. Our Reptilian President shocked the country yet again with a stunning lack of empathy on a recent humanitarian mission to Puerto Rico, attempting to recreate a Reptilian feeding ritual with throwing paper towels. Reptilian […]

Undead Nazis on Alt-Right “We’re the real Nazis, Bitch!”

Undead Nazis speak out against the current Nazi Resurgence. Undead Nazis feel that their legacy of exterminating jews and ruthlessly dominating the world is unfairly being watered down by the “Alt-Right’s ineffective Tiki Torch carrying cucks.” They consider the comparison of their world dominating military regime to ineffective losers in Khaki pants carrying Tiki Torches […]

Tribalist Thinking Beginning to Turn on Trump

  Tribalism works in mysterious ways. The tribalist thinking that got Trump elected is now turning against him. The big bold claims and promises that rallied his tribe behind him to think he was “strong” compared to Reptillary, are being used against him. Despite all the opposition he’s faced since taking office, his supporters have […]

Robots proven to be Sentient Autonomous Lifeforms with first Robo-Suicide

Robot Suicide opens public’s eyes to robot mental health crisis. Anyone who’s had the misfortune of seeing Paul Blart Mall Cop could tell you that being a mall security guard is about as futile and meaningless an existence as one could imagine. Even being a “soulless machine” is not a suitable defense for soul crushing […]