Robot Suicide proves that machines can feel emotion.

Robot Suicide opens public’s eyes to robot mental health crisis. Anyone who’s had the misfortune of seeing Paul Blart Mall Cop could tell you that being a mall security guard is about as futile and meaningless an existence as one could imagine. Even being a “soulless machine” is not a suitable defense for soul crushing […]

Reptilian Paul Ryan wants to destroy Health Care so he can eat your liver.

Reptilian Paul Ryan attempts to destroy the Affordable Care Act. This week Reptilian Skink Paul Ryan made strides this week towards destroying socialized healthcare with the American Health Care Act. The boasts of “increasing freedom” are a shoddy distraction so the House of Rep(tilian)resentatives can dissect and destroy government sponsored health care bills. Reptilians like Paul Ryan […]

Illuminati deliver whiplash on La La Land for perceived cultural appropriation.

Illuminati lash the whip on white jazz musical La La Land. The Academy Awards have long been the Illuminati’s favorite night of self indulgent love and they did not waste an opportunity to shine on their special night. The musical La La Land was nominated for 14 academy award, many criticized favoritism for anything Nostalgic […]

Trump to reveal Secret Reptilian Agenda during Inaugural Speech

Reptonald Presidential Inauguration will reveal Reptilian Agenda The Reptilian dominance ritual is complete, the loud fire explosions have sufficiently dazzled the onlookers. Reptonald is now ready address crowd off pissed off liberals & Trump staffers later today at Washington Mall. Using his subsonic Reptilian glands on his  hidden within his Reptilian mouth to send out […]

Council kills Reptilian Illuminati Coalition

How the Council killed the Illuminati-Reptilian coalition. Reptilians only see the world through power and dominance. They tend to gravitate towards positions of power and are often confused with psychopaths. Amongst the top ranking reptilian professions: Dentists, fighter pilots, surgeons, politicians and bankers. The reptilian brain focuses on domination over others, and they enjoy risk taking […]