Who was Kelly Anne Fitzpatrick and how did she become Reptillyanne Conway?

Kelly Anne Fitzpatrick or Reptillyanne Conway as she’s now known, was born in Camden, NJ in 1967. The Fitzpatricks moved out of the collapsing Camden and Kellyanne grew up in suburban Hammonton New Jersey. Kellyanne was always a bright, motivated individual and was able to graduate magna cum laude from Trinity College with a degree in Political Science. She moved on to Oxford University where she was elected to the prestigious honors society Phi Betta Kappa and went on to get a law degree with honors from George Washington University Law School. Reptillyanne briefly worked as an attorney but moved on to her true passion: lying to the media.

The Early Years

Reptillyanne Conway was not your run of the mill bookworm, despite her academic success. She was a cheerleader in 1981 at St. Joe’s high school and in 1982 she entered and won the New Jersey Blueberry Princess pageant. A fitting title for Kellyanne as she had 8 summers of experience packing blueberries on a south jersey blueberry farm and was known as “the fastest packer” on the farm. Kellyanne Fitzpatrick was also a burgeoning singer and aspiring stand up comedian, which would help explain her outrageous and laughable comments such as “Alternative Facts.”

How Kellyanne became the Reptublicans go to media pundit.

Conway is president and founder of the Polling Company and serves as CEO. Her company has helped Republican candidates to help appeal to female voters and has worked with Mike Pence, Newt Gingrich’s former presidential campaign, Reps. Steve King and Michele Bachmann, FreedomWorks, Americans for Prosperity, the Heritage Foundation, National Rifle Association, and Family Research Council. Kellyanne sharpened her polished media savvy presence with over 1,200 media appearances since the 90s. Once seen as a valuable asset, Reptillyanne was approved for complete transformation an honor the Reptilian high council only bestows on their most loyal subjects.

The Transformation from Kelly Anne to Reptillyanne

How does one who was born a human become a Reptilian you may be wondering? The light that animates an honest hardworking human being must first be extinguished so the Reptilian mind control can begin the transformation. Starting with the mind, focusing on the thirst for power, greed and dominance over others at first will begin rewiring the brain’s neural network and is the first step towards Reptilian transformation. Once fully initiated she was given access to their shape shifting technology to disguise her reptilian form.

(GIF by katerockett.com)