Illuminati lash the whip on white jazz musical La La Land.

The Academy Awards have long been the Illuminati’s favorite night of self indulgent love and they did not waste an opportunity to shine on their special night. The musical La La Land was nominated for 14 academy award, many criticized favoritism for anything Nostalgic or Hollywood themed (despite “Hail Ceasar!” being largely ignored.) That did not stop the Illuminati from relishing in a brutal public humiliation to La La Land, with Warren Beatty serving as the hand to crack the whip with the extended 3-minutes of false-hope only to be awkwardly rescinded to reveal that Moonlight won.

“This is not a joke” Illuminati yanks La La Land Tiara.

The Illuminati and by direct extension the Academy have been very concerned with being perceived as culturally sensitive and progressive, despite a long history of racial bias to overt racism. Illuminati insiders have confirmed that after #OscarsSoWhite last year, they couldn’t risk being perceived as anything but progressive, and declared white-appropriated Jazz Musical must be taken down. This was the powderkeg that led to the public rebuking of La La Land by the hand of “kind but senile senior” Warren Beatty. Mr. Beatty apologized and took credit for the fiasco despite the entire staff of the academy letting the awkward nightmare play out for 3 minutes.

The Illuminati’s new mission of being seen as socially progressive.

Despite no evidence of any meaningful action actual for change, the Illuminati fancy themselves the official opponents of bigotry. Despite in many cases perpetuating stereotypes and fuelling racism through biased journalism and stirring the pot of misplaced liberal aggression. Sticking to the narrative they told during the election; they are now the champions of social justice and Trump and the “alt-right” are the racists and nazis. This has been assessed as a convenient alliance due to the shift of public opinion and in many cases an idle gesture despite whatever seemingly good intentions the Illuminati by extension of the media may purport.

Illuminati’s new weapon of choice: Social Media Lynch Mob.

For years now, the global internet community have turned into something of a social justice lynch mob relishing in destroying people they label as villains, often out of context, leaving permanently damaging results. The phenomenon behind the “collective joy of the righteous kill” is seen as a way of “purging” by striking down those they perceive as unfit or unjust. The Illuminati hope to harness these social media lynch mobs as weapons against their enemies, primarily the Reptonald Administration.

Illuminati’s rediscovered love of Character Assassination

This crusade of character assassination has recently struck out against perceived “alt-right hero top earning youtube star PewdiePie” and Reptilian troll Milo Yiannopoulos. By taking comments, video stills and more out of context the Wall Street Journal was able to make a convincing enough argument that top Youtuber PewdiePie was somehow a nazi supporter. They were able to get his sponsorship funding pulled despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. Not all character assassination is bad after all, in some cases it’s well deserved. After unearthing some comments by Milo seeming to defend pedophilia they were able to twist the knife, ending his reign of terror. By offering public sacrifices the Illuminati are able to steer outrage away from their own scandal and corruption of the the big 6 media corporations controlled by the Illuminati.